Well.............

welp, i know its been  a while and stuff...
its been hard but im over it.
Harley broke up with me last thursday
and i havent been upset about it yet unless you count last night at church
[which i dont not really]
then i got with my girlfriend now ,
patience jane priegel and i love her with all my heart.

I know i shouldnt have this on here,
but im going to anyways.

i cant not stand that we dont have any classes together, but maybe next year..
Just Maybe..

Yesterday

Lane and I
Went to the lake.
It was our last day together.
The last two months
Were cut down
Since Alysa was pregnant.

We did what I've always dreamed of.
We had passionate love/ sex.
Yeah, I know.
Im a whore.
Im a slut.
Call me whatever you want.

This Past Week

Okay this past week has been hectic..

Tuesday the sixth: hung out with lane
Thursday the eighth: hung out with lane.

Both days we did things we were'nt supposed to do

Friday the ninth: Harley broke up wtih me.
Called lane and told him
he blamed himself.

Saturday and sunday:
laid around watching tv.
trie not to eat.

Monday was the same..

Tuesday I went to the lake with lane..
We made out and fooled around some.

Wednesday i went to church.
told people about me and harley breaking up...

thursday [yesterday]
whent to the lake with lane and did something bad that will amke a lot of people thuink im a slut.
I think im a slut just for kissing him.
we had sex...
yeah i know I'm going to burn in hell for it. whatever.
It was like friends with benefits.

then wehn he dropped me off,

i could barely walk... i was woozy.

then harley called me and asked if i wanted to hang out

it ended badly..

he said that he miised me and that he wanted me back..
i told him i'd think about it..
 i dont knwo what to do...

Newest Poem. [Mentality Ward]

I finally lost it.
I scream into the darkness.
My mentalty is decreasing..
Into the darkness,
I will fall.
To the Queen,
All
Will call.
The men in white
Take me away.
I wont see him
In a couple hundred days.

Now in a straight jacket,
In a white padded room.
I scream at the walls,
even where the door should be.

About two days later,
But it felt like month,
They pull me out,I get
To go to the all Queen's court
Where they will decide
My future....

My future is this:
I can go back home.
The Queen has made it final.
I am to never walk back into the
Mentality Ward.

I get to see the love of my life.
When I walk through the door,
I get stabbed with a knife.

Kenzie's House

Im over at Kenzies house.
shes sleeping right now and she snores
like a little puppy... its so cute!!!

anyways. what is wrong with her?
I was sleeping last night,
and I woke up and she was on top of me!!

Anyways...
Graduation...
This next Thursady...
The 20ths. I cant wait.. Out of middle school and nomore eighth grade!!
But i have to wear heels across stage... Its gonna hurt...!!!
I dont knwo why i have to though....
I really dont want to
Kylies is probably gonna make me..


SUBJECT CHANGE!!!!!

What have you been doing? I know I only have 2 followers, but whatever..

TWO!!!!!  Thats better then one AND zero...
I hope...

"What are yyou doing?"
"Typing. Duh."
"What?"
"Words.. Look at it. "
"What does it say?"
"Blah blah blah.. and do duh ruh rah...and la la la.. of course."
"Whats those words then?"
"Blah blah blah.. and do dyh ruh rah.. and lalala...."

Weird huh? Its me and myself talkuig....
that word does even make sence... I think!!!


Anyway, Im hungry and Kenzie needs to STOP SLEEPING!!!
And I want my lighter back!!!

We smoked this morning!
Now MY lighter is in HER pocket.
What a hoe-bag.
JOKING!!!

Whent to the aim l;ast night..
Got 2 NEW  friends.
maybe?
I dont know.
Sam and Whitney.
Sam was cool.
Whitney was quiet but cute,
I lieked her..

What kind of word id liek?
Hell I dont know..
almost put somt instead of dont.. I cant really type today..
Her backspace barely works.. I dont liek it!!
HAHA!!! Liek i just did it again!
XD

Whats goin on?
Whats new?
Anything?
What?!
Dont tel me to shut up!!!
Fuck you then!!!

Im done.
Good-bye.

Pepper

Marky got with Sharon


Sharon got Cherice

She was sharin' Sharon's outlook

on the topic of disease

Mikey had a facial scar

Bobby was a racist

They were all in love with dyin'

They were doin' it in Texas

Tommy played piano like a

kid out in the rain

Then he lost his leg in Dallas

He was dancin' with a train

They were all in love with dyin'

They were drinking from a fountain

That was pourin' like an avalanche

comin' down the mountain.



[CHORUS:]

I don't mind the sun sometimes

The images it shows

I can taste you on my lips and

smell you in my clothes

Cinnamon and sugary

Like softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look

Through other people's eyes.

Some will die in hot pursuit

In firey auto crashes

Some will die in hot pursuit

While sifting through my ashes

Some will fall in love with

life and drink it from a fountain

That is pouring like an avalanche

comin' down the mountain.



[CHORUS]



Another Mikey caught a knife

While arguing in traffic

Flipper died a natural death

He caught a nasty virus

Then there was the ever present

Football player-rapist

They were all in love with dyin'

They were doin' it in Texas

Holly caught a bullet

But it only hit his leg

Well, it should have been a better shot and

Got him in the head

They were all in love with dyin'

They were drinkin' from a fountain

That was pourin' like an avalanche

comin' down the mountain



[CHORUS]

Never give up on God

I cried for the first time in a few weeks last night.
It was amazing service last night.
Jacen Byrd spoke.
Yeah, him. The crazy one that acts like a chicken, screams, and will tackle you if you dont give him a hug.
Yeah, that guy.
He is an amazing speaker.
I felt like I waas the only one in the room and that he was only speaking to me.
It was awesome!!!

When I started crying, it was a stress relievwer.
I couldnt help but think that God is there for me,
listening to everything I need help with.
My answer will come.
On that 21st day Daniel was in the lion's den,
his angel came to him.

Ive always asked for good things:
my parents staying together,
myself getting good grades
that my brother wont mess up.
everything.

Except this:
I hope that God will help me stop smoking and cussing.

Thats the onl;y thing I dont pray for.
I dont know why, but I just dont.
Its a matter of why I do it in the first place.

ahwhile..

its been awhile since ive been on this blog.
im over my ex boyfriend lane
and im over tyler.
nothing would make me happier then
my boyfriend harley.
everything else is just extra or comes with.
you know what i mean.

ive been writing poetry again..
just go to the link at the bottom of this entry...

I have to take the EOI's this year and i really dont want to.
but i guess i have to to get into algebra 2 next year...
ill be a freshman... just like harley is now
and probably will be when he fails..
he'll be real pissed.
not a happy pissed either..

im bored and tired. im just wanting to go home and sleep.
but i have to go to church..


another thing: Im on my period..
mother nature is a bitch.
im hating her right now..

but right now i just wish harley was right her
with me then i wouldnt be so bored then would i?

dont answer that..

okay okay im going im going.
bye!!!!!

[ps.. happy really late 2010!!!]


LINKS!!!
allpoetry.com/ArayaKills

my poem (hope you like)

blood is dripping
down my arm.
a tear falls
from my cheek.
another
and
another.
drip,
drop.
drip,
drop.
the faucet is leaking.
my arm is
burning
and itching.
my tears
keep falling,
faster
and
faster.
drip,
drop.
drip,
drop.
i turn up
the volume
so nobody
can hear
the screaming.
laying there
tears falling,
wrists bleeding,
and the screaming.
drip,

drop.
drip,
drop.
nobody's coming.
im still
screaming,
crying,
burning,
itching,
bleeding.
drip,

drop.
drip,
drop.
knock,
knock,
knock.
somebodys here.
i dont care.
i keep
screaming.
i blast
the music
louder.
drip,

drop.
drip,
drop.
they bust in.
its HIM.
i scream until
i can scream
no more.
he takes the razor
all in blood,
and throws it
on the floor.
i push him
toward the door,
but he says,
"i wont leave
anymore."
drip,

drop.
drip,
drop.
i yell
and
scream.
blood still
dripping
down my arm.
"baby,
i mean
no harm."
tears turn
into sobs.
i whisper
in his ear,
"i love you
but get out."
drip,

drop.
drip,
drop.
but he
doesnt leave,
just
sits there.
i look
at him
in disgust.
i love him
but
hate him
too.
drip,

drop.
drip,
drop.